Roses and Hope

Dearest blog,

I think I have come to agree that in some way you are my conscience. Helping to affirm decisions and thoughts within. Be kind, dear blog, because I have either done something very dumb or very brilliant. The thing of it is, I can't know, and won't for some time.

I'm holding my breath. Here it is. I was at the store and noticed Dollar General selling on clearance those bagged bare-root roses. Originally $4.50 (that can't be good...), they had been marked down to 70 percent off, making them around $1.30. Yes, that's what I said, $1.30. For a rose bush. Well, I'm not sure if you'd call it a rose bush but hope tells me it is.

Skeptical Kala picked up the bag, and sought after an employee to confirm that indeed, these were marked down because they were doomed to die or already had succumbed to it because let's be honest, they were $4.50 in a bag in a box at Dollar General. Because that's what I do. Seek answers to satisfy what I already "know" (I don't know). Didn't I say that's what my blog is for?

I found said dollar-general employee, who assured me that these roses were made to withstand months in a box... and that each and every one would come back. Perhaps it was hope living within, perhaps it was stupidity living without, but I took her at her word and imagined my new (and currently flowerless) garden bursting with beauty and color at the hand (or root..) of these bagged bare-root roses. "This is the only way!!" I thought, since money actually IS an object around my household (as it should be) and these little (and I do mean little) fellas were practically a dollar each. OK all that being said, excitement took over and I bought 10. Woops.

OK I know what your thinking. I am either very dumb or brilliant, right? I told you. So here they are.

Please be kind dear reader. As they say, ignorance is bliss. Let me hope and dream :) And hey, with 10 plants, one is bound to succeed.... right? Well, if not, I'm only out a few dollars. Also, I am aware that roses have a reputation and am willing to devote the needed time and research to make an attempt.

Last night I chose the three gimpiest looking plants and went ahead with soaking the roots over night. Here is that visual.

More updates to come. I have so many analogies I could use right now, about bringing death to life, renewing by the washing of the word, tossing fear to the wind and letting love cause beauty to rise from ashes, breaking up fallow ground for planting. I'll spare you for now. For now. :)

.

Judge not and you will not be judged. Condemn not and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Give and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.

This piece of a famous speech made by a King before His Glory was revealed forever changed the hearts of those with ears to hear. Had they not heard it said, an eye for an eye? A tooth for a tooth. An animal for an animal. , ,

I can't help but understand the words in the pages to mean that in this life we experience the goodness of God. But we must wait on the Lord. We taste and see the goodness of God in the land of the living. Alive. That is who we are. Dancing before our King, bowing low in honor and rising only when He is exalted. In this life.

Why wait for Heaven to dance before my King? Why. Wasn't it what I was created for? I was born for? Isn't it where my heart finds rest and peace, and purpose and joy. Joy. This word has been abused. That place in me that meets with God, will produce joy in spite of earth and evil and now.

 I will be still before my God..

Now, back to now. I will see the goodness of God in the land of the living. These hands baked cookies when the sun went down on Saturday. Flour and sugar and eggs and extract. Don't forget the chocolate chips. I scooped the brown sugar into my measuring cup. I wanted to be sure it was enough. Let me be sure. The tips of my fingers pushed it down and added more, until it spilled onto the counter. That was an accident. No, I didn't lick it up though it crossed my mind. That was a good measure.

No yeast. Don't mix in the yeast. Those pharisees are a long way from here. Just the sugar and the Truth and we will win them.

And we get to reap (eat) the benefit.

Teach us, oh Lord, to measure our hearts' goodness to others. To truly do to others as we would have them do to us. To love our neighbors as ourselves.

It's raining today and winter is not going down without a fight.
Good thing it's not up to winter. Spring is coming.

One time I heard someone say that God must've made spring at the same time that He made hope. Yeah. That makes sense to me. Hope. Isn't that what drives us all? Hope that I can somehow be pleasing to my Father and then believing that its true. And hope that there is still good at work in a dark place and knowing its all because of Jesus. Hope that I can meet Him face to face, and knowing that He wants it more than me. What freedom comes from the Truth of these words. He wants me more than I want Him. And I only want Him because He wanted me first. Oh Lord it's overwhelming. And I'm sorry that I live at times like I'm underwhelmed. Hope. Doesn't it feel like something rising? Or something moving when you thought it was dead. I dont know. Words fail me but Truth rings.

Walk through life and don't fall in to the trap of the comfortable life. Am I falling asleep? It comes slowly and silently. It's harmful to the believer. Maybe not every believer though I doubt that's true. But certainly this believer. The Lord calls us set apart. What beautiful truth. Yet somehow self (this self) is found living like one who has not tasted the sweet redemption song of King Jesus. That may or may not be an exaggeration, nonetheless these words reflect the sickness of my heart. And it hurts and sometimes paralyzes. Like a paralytic under the weight of condemnation. Must.. get.. to.... Jesus.

I'm glad He comes to me.

Wake up, check. Coffee, check. Read daily Bible chapters, check. Go to work, check. Come home, make dinner, check. Wash the dishes. [. . ] wash the dishes [. . .] Oh, those dishes.. OK fine, Wash the dishes.....check.

 And somehow I leave my Lord at home, in the car, or somewhere outside of where I am. Somewhere outside of where I am? What does that even mean. There's more to this story.

When will I get it. When will I get that I have been given everything I need to remain in Him. That is not a question.

Truth: Just believe. Believe He remains in me. Doesn't faith change everything. That's not a question.

My fruit is rotten outside of the Vine of Life. Dead. My best efforts are as filthy rags.
Dear self, unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.
Dear self, unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.
In vain you rise early and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat -
for He grants sleep [rest?] to those he loves.

Rest. What? REST.

Rest and sleep differ wildly. As St. Augustine wisely and honestly penned, Thou movest us to delight in praising Thee; for Thou hast formed us for Thyself, and our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee.

Is not rest outside of Him, simply sleep? I can sleep, and be restless. And awake and be tired. Oh, that I would learn to rest in Him.

Dear self, how deeply you are loved. Accept it.
And yesterday. Oh yesterday. What a grip came over my mind. Nothing made sense. Not me or Grace, or works, or faith. Nothing. The enemy came against what had already been won. What's worse, I let him. Well, almost.
Enter fear.

The fears. The antagonist of this story and many like it. That paralyzing, life sucking, weight bearing presence. Oh that word. Fear. The fear that the comforts of this life can somehow grip me from the Hand of my Maker. Almighty God. The fear that somehow what my heart tells me is true, and I should wear my own righteousness like a shawl as I stand before my Maker and man, and everyone would see right through it. The stains, and tears. The seams, don't you see? They fall apart, and I madly sew them back together but it's too late. Truth: I don't know how to sew. I'm in trouble.

Oh, but I know the Truth. And the lies seep in like a fragrant aroma, familiar. Scent is the strongest memory trigger. And I remember this one. Something in me wants to breathe it in. It's up to you and you are failing. That doesn't sound like a pleasant scent. Memories are comforting. Sometimes even unpleasant ones. Sort of like when you get a bruise and it hurts but something in you wants to keep touching it. They remind me who I am and what has happened. Truth: This is not who I am. Blow out this candle. it stinks.

Dear self,

To the one who does not work but trusts God who justifies the ungodly, their faith is credited as righteous. Did Abraham not believe God? And to him it was counted as righteousness. Just believe. For he has made Jesus to be sin for you. He who knew no sin, that you might be made the righteousness of God in him.

Rest.

A Love letter from your King


As a note worth noting for those note-reading folks, on my search for restoration, this wonderful little article found it's way on to my screen and into my heart - On the Imputed Righteousness of Jesus Christ. Thank you, David J. Stewart, whoever you are.

The Imputed Righteousness of Jesus Christ

It's me again. I regret that I've been gone, but not that I've been swept up by the changing of the seasons that life dare bring. I'm home.

Have I ever felt such peace in saying so? Home. When we all long for the comfort of a safe haven, it is home that answers. No, It is the Lord, but isn't He more home than any brick or slab or 2 by 4? My home represents the place I rest. In Him. Home.

November 23rd - $20 in Charlotte, North Carolina

Grammy award-winning Southern gospel singer Jason Crabb headlines the 4th Annual Evening of Hope and Inspiration to benefit the Jeanne White-Ginder Food Pantry at Different Roads Home, a Charlotte area nonprofit serving the needs of individuals living with chronic illness. Award winning Christian singer/songwriter Christy Sutherland also performs. Additionally, Jeanne White-Ginder will be featured as a guest speaker and the Hope and Inspiration Awards will be presented to local advocates. -

For more information or to purchase tickets:

Evening of Hope and Inspiration

My Hope America

Billy Graham's My Hope America will air Thursday, November 7th. Click here to find local and national television networks that will be airing the program:

My Hope America

Find more information about the program on  Billy Graham's Website.